As a teenage girl, I love to dream about perfect love stories. I love to watch movies like The Notebook and Dear John. I used to think that all love stories had to unfold like these stories did. There had to be intense physical romance, elaborate expressions of love, and the stories always had to end perfectly. I assumed that if none of these things existed in the relationship, then the love wasn't real. It just couldn't be passionate enough. But after watching Once, I've realized that love doesn't have to be over the top or be physical or be perfect. There don't have to be any dramatic circumstances or breakups or scenes shot in the pouring rain; a guy and a girl connecting through music can be just as intimate, and it's certainly more realistic.
In Once, the guy and the girl meet while the guy is playing guitar, and their second meeting is brought on by a broken vacuum cleaner. And as sexy as a girl with a broken vacuum cleaner can be, these aren't circumstances that Nicholas Sparks would write about. The guy and the girl were two completely normal people, both poor, both interested in music, nothing particularly exciting about either of them. But I've realized that this doesn't make the story lame or any less romantic. In fact, in my opinion, it makes it even more romantic, because it's realistic. Even the filming of the movie itself shows the realism of the story. Most of the film looks like it is shot by hand. No fancy tripods or helicopters...it just looks like a person holding a camera, and filming the guy and the girl's story as it unfolds. Also, the fact that the guy and the girl don't even have names further emphasizes the realism. This isn't necessarily "Thomas and Susie's story." It isn't a story that could only happen to them. It's a story about a "Guy" and a "Girl." That guy and that girl could be any one of us, and their story could be any of ours.
Once also helped me realize that there are different kinds of love. There is romantic love, and then there is love between friends. The love in Once was based off of a friendship. They make each other happy, and that's what any kind of love should be able to do. Their relationship was short, and they didn't even end up together, yet their love seems more intimate and real to me than any other film that I've seen. Once has helped me realize that most romantic movies have set the bar unreasonably high for love and relationships. There doesn't have to be a climactic kiss or a perfect ending. A love between friends that ends after a week or two can be just as powerful and just as intimate.
Dear Hanz,
ReplyDeleteI also have had a shift in my opinion of ‘love’ recently, similar to yours after watching Once. To be totally honest, I love love love love Nicholas Sparks movies. In case you didn’t realized, ABC family played The Notebook, The Time Traveler’s Wife, A Walk to Remember, and Leap Year all back to back Saturday and Sunday. I was devastated to realize I wouldn’t be able to sit on my couch having a movie marathon, due to studying for AP test and other homework. While I did manage to catch the end of The Time Traveler’s Wife, I watched it with a different perspective than when I have first seen it, as a hopeless romantic in 8th grade. I’d still call myself a hopeless romantic, but what I find romantic is far different.
In the two years that had passed between that original viewing and now, I’ve been exposed to more ‘real’ love. Entering high school, it’s hard not to have your views changed when there are teenagers hooking up left and right. Is that love? It’s surely a physical expression of it, but which is more important? The physical or the emotional side?
What all of the crazy love story movies have in contact is a lot of physical contact. After all, most of them are just a bunch of bad acting, which ruins the emotional aspect of the story, with a lot of special effects, kissing/sex, and staring into each other’s eyes to distract us from what love should actually be. Let’s face it: the couple that’s gushy all the time is downright annoying. I’ve seen many relationships that are far more stable than Ally and Noah’s, or Henry and Clare’s. Those are the couples that spend hours talking, can adapt from hanging out with friends to a date night, and make each other laugh. And they’re often normal teenagers, who get stressed and have bad hair days and lots and lots of flaws.
I think there’s a saying somewhere that falling in love means loving another person flaws. Characters in movies rarely have flaws, or at least not ‘real’ ones. They’re perfect, but I know that when I fall in love I will be nowhere close to perfection. I hope that there’s someone out there willing to accept that, and help me get a little closer.
Did I still record a bunch of those sappy movies to watch next weekend? Of course. But more of the fact that I love watching them with my friends and I wish I had Rachel McAdams’s hair versus wishing for a love story like the one on screen. So, movie night after the AP? I still think the academy guys would benefit greatly from watching The Notebook.
Much love,
Charlie